wow. today was ok....i guess. kinda uneventful but that's ok. it's 12:30...middle of the night...and i'm laying here in bed thinking about everything that is going on in my life. my grades (how i'm worried sick about them as if they are a loving relative cuz i'm a friggin geek), my friends (oh how i love you guys!!), the friends i'm rebuilding relationships with (like ulises. i love you man. you've always been there for me through thick and thin. i hope we still talk after you graduate this year), and the friends that will be graduating and leaving us this may (like ulises, myranda, emy, and erika...*tears!*), and the friends that won't be around next year (like newby *sniffle*tear* i'll miss you, buddy!!!! love you!), and i'm also thinking about how i feel about myself in general actually. i think about what i like about myself and what i don't. so basicly i think about what i want to change. nothing is wrong, however. i love my life and i love all of my friends more than anything in this entire world. especially my g/f's (like i told you guys....i will love you two more than ANY guy i ever date! men will come in and out of our lives for a long time, but it is your g/f's that remain constant. the friends you make in high school are the ones you will keep forever. i love you guys!)
got to talk to matt today. that was cool. we talk alot and i have fun talking to him. he's my buddy; my friend. he didn't talk much today though for some reason. i'd say something and he'd just say,"lol" or something. i mean we talked for a while but some parts of the time that's all he would do. then he had to go and we said our goodnights.....
i like sayin goodnight to him though for some reason. don't know why though. it actually kinda helps me to sleep at night to say goodnight to him. and it's either cuz we usually talk til god knows when or cuz that's exactly what i needed at this point in time....someone to tell me goodnight before i go to bed. mom doesn't tell me goodnight. she just goes to bed. i get to say goodnight to kerri and brit sometimes if i'm talking to them at that time of night but that's not very often, however we do talk alot on the comp. i haven't talked to kerri on here for a while though cuz i don't have aim anymore. i do, but it's on my phone and it's so slow, i just hate talking to people on there.
well i'm going to go now. i'm making this way too long! i usually do most of the time. i hope you all have a goodnight. i love all of you so much!!
all my love <3,
Jessica N. Hack
you threw my black roses in the dirt,
and made them cry with fear.
if all my thoughts could cry like this,
they'd cry the reddest tears.